Elegy

31st October 2009
0400 - Rainy

i don't know what to feel. numb. could somebody give me one emotion?

you said just follow my heart to feel what i want to feel.
but when your heart is in so many pieces. which way are you to follow?




1330 - sunny

just woke up. still in bed.
could somebody please shut down the sun?

sayounara. waratte yo. nakuna yo. baka da na.


Nsxon x

28th pour

Dear readers and stalker,

my not-so-wholeheartedly apology for forsaking this blog due to my not-so-hectic life which i think is pretty frantic (since it's mostly occupied by non-academic affair which is in contradiction of my identity as a student) which i think chaotic is a relatively better word to inflate.

to ascertain my existence and to update my life in a not-so-comprehensive approach, what i can describe my current phase is like 'living contentedly and gleefully in a reserved and heart-rending fashion' -  if you get what i mean, which i don't give a shit anyway.

the red red muscular thing under my chest which beat and bleed at the same time? it's so numb right now. like anaesthetized. where is the hemoglobin you used to transmit and diffuse into me?

28th October 2009. 1600

Rainy

shower off the smut

not from the filthy

but the purest of all

of all the time spelled by

darkest days and brightest nights

are what we have left

derisorily with satisfaction

still falls the rain

dark as the world of man

black as our loss

blind as the nineteen hundred

and forty nails upon the Cross

note my people, this is not an emotional post.

the best thing one can do when it's raining is to let it rain

and sleep.

Nsxon x

The emancipated Prisoner

stripping off. lock, stock and barrel

he is still. not naked

miserably mystified

begging a question he has no answer

can't explain things he's indefinite

hope?

shoulder the brutal load

how to go on?

with something. he can't see

how to compete?

with someone. so explicit

hope. lets hope

shadows. on the wall

whispers. down your skull

empty.   yet echoing

dubious on the masquerade

mounding ever since...

hope. less hope

turned the page and closed the door

that she's gone and you've moved on

smile the pathetic

laugh the crime

so loud.    yet so barren

hopeless hope

probing light. prying voice

hidden snake. struggling out

invisble chains keep him in pain

visible candor keep him in vain

it's a fiery blue

the clad nudity

Nsxon x

Knock You Down

Sometimes when love comes around

and it knocks you down

Just get back up

when it knocks you down. knocks you down

dessert or disaster?
Nsxon x

Rejected Bar Celona

Hit the club in Barcelona after the party

got a seat at the V.I.P

Trying to get enough drink in the system

ask them where they at, don't know

don't care, won't care

Hit the dance floor, got the ice scorching

Music thrashing, Light blazing

loosen up by Benvenuti nel mondo Bacardi

sending the nerve down the spine

Every move seemed so familiar yet exotic

dance, dance all the hassle away

Whose body, Whose lips

don't care, don't care

Till the throbbing head knocked you down

got back up, it's 4 a.m.
and you are still not entirely mine

the darkness shall be the light

and the stillness, be the dancing

Nsxon x